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Astroholics Anonymous - 20 Questions

53K views 130 replies 67 participants last post by  Jordan.bluestro 
#1 ·
Do you struggle with astroholism? You're not alone.

The 'Twenty Questions' that helped me decide that I was astroholic. Take this 20 question test to help you decide whether or not your have an astroddiction.
Answer YES or NO to the following questions.

  • Do you lose time from work due to your van?[/*]
  • Is your van making your home life unhappy?[/*]
  • Do you work on your van because you are shy with other people?[/*]
  • Is your van affecting your reputation?[/*]
  • Have you ever felt remorse after working on your van?[/*]
  • Have you ever got into financial difficulties as a result of working on your van?[/*]
  • Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment while working on your van?[/*]
  • Does your van make you careless of your family's welfare?[/*]
  • Has your ambition decreased since taking ownership of your van?[/*]
  • Do you crave your van at a definite time?[/*]
  • Do you want your van first thing in the morning?[/*]
  • Does your van cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?[/*]
  • Has your efficiency decreased since your van came into your life?[/*]
  • Is your van jeopardizing your job or business?[/*]
  • Do you work on your van to escape from worries or trouble?[/*]
  • Do you work on your van alone?[/*]
  • Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of your van?[/*]
  • Has your physician ever treated you for mental anguish over your van?[/*]
  • Do you work on your van to build up your self-confidence?[/*]
  • Have you ever been to a hospital or institution because of your van?[/*]

What is your score?

If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may be an astroholic. :think:
If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you are an astroholic. :shifty:
If you answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an astroholic. :eek:

(The test questions were not used at Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD, in deciding whether or not a patient is an astroholic).

Remember if you, or someone you care about, is struggling with astroholism, or even mild cases of astroddiction, you've come to the right place. :romance-grouphug:
 
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#78 ·
I mean, if you're really addicted you won't be offended.
It doesn't bother me what people think about me or my Astro. Let them think I am a housewife, let them think I can't afford a Prius (or some plastic toy like that), let them think I married my Astro, let them think I'm a gangmember, let them think I have a disorder...
(over here in the Netherlands most people do think american car drivers are criminal) LET THEM THINK !
I won't sleep less..
 
#79 ·
justsomeguy said:
I get offended when people ask me what I drive, and I tell them it's an Astro. I can tell by the look on their face, without them even saying anything, they're thinking "oh... it's JUST an Astro, pft, whateva." Like I'm not cool because it's not a brand new full size pickup, Camaro, Mustang, Civic, Subaru, etc. They just automatically assume it's a beater POS grocery getter soccer mom dated minivan. And when I inquire about nice rims or HID headlights, by the way their eyes roll back, I can just tell they want to say "Oh, why bother? It's JUST an Astro." Or the wrongly assume there's no nice aftermarket accessories for our vans and are shocked when I prove that there are. And they're like, "Hmm, who knew?"
I have a different experience. Smoke a few trucks pulling away from the stoplights by 4-5 car lengths. Hurt a few mustangs feelings. They see it differently then. In the same shape as a new car.

Sitting idling rough at the store. All I get is smiles and what a nice old van it is.
 
#80 ·
I actually do get the occasional person who tells me what good shape my van is in. But I think they assume it's older than it really is. Mine is a 2005, so it's only 7 years old. But since the same bodystyle has been around since 1995 (and arguably since 1985), and most people think that van has been out of production for longer than 7 years, they probably think my van is 15 years old. And in the rust belt, any 15 year old vehicle, especially a minivan that most people treat as an appliance, or a throwaway compact car like a Cavalier, will look every bit its age with rust, faded paint, missing hubcaps, probably dents and neglect.

When people tell me my van looks pretty good, I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or be offended because they think it's much older than 7 years old (I always keep it spotlessly clean, but lots of other people do that too). If I were driving a 2005 Chevy Silverado or a 2005 Impala, 2005 Camry, etc, I doubt people would be saying "wow, that thing's in pretty good shape."

And I've just got the stock 4.3 V6. It's got some power, and occasionally I tromp on it to get ahead of someone when a lane is ending or to merge, but I'm not generally in the habit of racing people. I'm a pretty easy going driver. Now, when I had motorcycles, especially sport bikes, I couldn't help myself. Those things would do 0-60 in about 2 seconds and I could weave in and out of traffic on the highway at 100 miles an hour no problem. I never once lost to a car. I usually left them in the dust, no matter what kind of car it was. Occasionally I'd get a run for my money, or someone else on a faster sport bike might have beat me, but I don't drive like that anymore. At least not in my stock Astro or any other mainstream vehicle. I have to drive well marked work vehicles (sometimes buses), so I've got in the habit of driving at the speed limit and accelerating gently, even in my own van. But like I said, in my Astro, every once in a while if I have to merge and when I put the signal on, someone will speed up not to let me in, so I floor it. Sometimes I get in front, sometimes they're faster than me.
 
#84 ·
Wish i had found; (fount if you attended K-town public school;) this post a few years ago, before i fell in love with my baby doll. I was so taken in by her body i could not see her evil ways. Because of her i cannot be around my family. I am isolated from my friends, my grand babies,and any other pastimes i used to enjoy.
She told me she needed time for herself. But till i found another Astro; for her to spend time "alone" with in the garage; i realized "alone time, me time, time for me; all meant time away from me. Then she forced me to take in a third; a so called cousin; a Safari ,so i could run errands for her and her new friend.
Now thanks to this post, i can finally see what is happening. The whole relationship is a farce. I somehow somewhere became codependent.
My name is Gene; and i am an Astroholic; which was my gateway to Safari addiction.
 
#86 ·
Big_kid said:
If you've ever thought to yourself "This fuel tank gets easier and easier each time I drop it"
you might be an Astroholic.:chevy:
Funny that this thread should resurface today, and right now, just after I finished dropping the tank again. 5 years later and is still not a bad job. Out, worked on and back in in 2.5 hours or so.(With air tools and very little surface rust).
 
#90 ·
Its my friend Ralph's fault he got me into these Astro's. And I have to say if u surf/skim thru a astro/safari forum any chance u have u might be an "Astroholic". Haha Oooooolay! By the way I weigh 140lbs soaking wet trust me I know I was at the beach today since the morning. People say I have no *** but little do they know I have an Asstro×2. Oops can I say that?
 
#98 ·
[*]Do you lose time from work due to your van? No
[*]Is your van making your home life unhappy? No
[*]Do you work on your van because you are shy with other people? No
[*]Is your van affecting your reputation? No
[*]Have you ever felt remorse after working on your van? No
[*]Have you ever got into financial difficulties as a result of working on your van? No
[*]Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment while working on your van? No
[*]Does your van make you careless of your family's welfare? No
[*]Has your ambition decreased since taking ownership of your van? No
[*]Do you crave your van at a definite time? Yes
[*]Do you want your van first thing in the morning? No
[*]Does your van cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? No
[*]Has your efficiency decreased since your van came into your life? No
[*]Is your van jeopardizing your job or business? No
[*]Do you work on your van to escape from worries or trouble? Yes
[*]Do you work on your van alone? Yes
[*]Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of your van? No
[*]Has your physician ever treated you for mental anguish over your van? No
[*]Do you work on your van to build up your self-confidence? No
[*]Have you ever been to a hospital or institution because of your van?[/list] No

What is your score? 3 Yes

If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may be an astroholic. :think:
If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you are an astroholic. :shifty:
If you answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an astroholic. :eek:

(The test questions were not used at Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD, in deciding whether or not a patient is an astroholic).

Remember if you, or someone you care about, is struggling with astroholism, or even mild cases of astroddiction, you've come to the right place. :romance-grouphug:[/quote]
 
#101 ·
if you own another vehicle that is totally neglected you may be an Astroholic, If you know part numbers to these vans better then the nappa guy you may be an Astroholic, if its always someone elses fault when the van is broken then you may be an Astroholic.
If all the parts stores & hardware stores for 100 miles around recognize you as the Astro guy You Are an Astroholic!
 
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