Chevy Astro and GMC Safari Forum banner

Three blondes explain Easter

2K views 6 replies 5 participants last post by  LrdSatyr8 
#1 ·
Sent to me by a friend this got me to LOL so I thought I'd share.

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they
could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.

The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give
thanks and eat turkey."

St.. Peter said, "Noooooo," and wouldn't let her in.

The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus's birth and exchange gifts.."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he wouldn't let her in either.

The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus
was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans
arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died. Then they buried him
in a tomb behind a very large boulder .... "

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out.
If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."

St. Peter fainted.
 
See less See more
#4 ·
That was awesome... I've always loved a good blonde joke... here's a good one that is almost true!

A blonde was driving in her prize VW Beatle when all the sudden a freak hail storm came down and pelted her car. It was covered in so many dents it looked like a golf ball. She went to the local garage and asked the mechanic how to fix all the dents. The mechanic seeing she wasn't too bright decided to have a little fun and told her "All you have to do is blow real hard on the tail pipe and all the dents will pop back out."

She went back to her home and parked it in the garage and closed the door because she didn't want anyone to see her actually doing what the mechanic suggested. She bent down behind the vehicle and proceeded blowing as hard as she could into the tailpipe. A few moments later her room mate, who was also a blonde, came into the garage and shouting "What the heck are you doing?"

She paused and said "The Mechanic told me that to get the dents out of the car, I had to blow real hard into the tailpipe and they would all pop out".

"You're doing it all wrong," her roomate stated, "first you gotta make sure the windows are up dummy!"
 
#6 ·
Blond yokes, eh ?

Once up0n a tyme, there was a gorgeous (rich) blond (lady) who asked her chauffer to stop at a mid-Manhattan main office of a well known bank, which he did. She went into the bank and asked to see the manager in

charge of loans, and was directed to his office. She asked the loan manager if she could arrange for a short term loan of $2,000, where upon he asked if she had any collateral to offer. She asked if he would follow

her to the front of the bank, and said: "do you see that Rolls Royce ? It has a value of $106,000, will that do ?" Why, of course it would, so the manager wrote up the agreement, and sent the blond on her way, and

two grand richer. Everyone wondered (you know how nosey office workers are) why, if she could afford this outrageously expensive car, she would need this paltry amount of a loan. When she was out of sight, the

loan manager got the security guard to put the Rolls in the banks' underground parking facility for safe keeping. And there it stayed until a month had passed, and the blond came back into the bank to settle the loan.

She asked the manger how much she owed the bank, and the manager told her that the settlement was $2045.63. She took a wad of cash out of her purse, and began to count out $2046. and graciasly said that the

bank should keep the change, and thank you very much, and began to walk towards the front of the bank, to reclaim her car, which had been brought back out for her chauffer.

There was a curious teller who accosted the blond, half way between the vault and the front door and asked (naturally) why, if she obviously didn't need the two grand, why she made the loan.

OK, she said, Here we are in Manhattan, and I was going on a cruise overseas for a month. Now, I don't know about you, but where else can you leave a Rolls in a safe parking lot for a month in

Manhattan for only $46.

Maybe some blonds aren't so dumb...

Bob
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top