I'm going to hell anyways so:
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q: Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q: What's brown and often found in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.