Laddies and gentlewomen,
I come to you today from the glorified undercover area I call a garage, 25° 51'N, 55° 35'E where it is currently 39°C with a feels like of 49° (can't be buggered to do the F conversion, needless to say, it is **** hot and I am sweating li6ke a large lady involved in vigorous fornication in a sauna, even my goldfish is sweating! Hmm, how much would a goldfish have to sweat to turn his freshwater brackish? Should I be worried?)
Where was I? Oh yes,
Introducing Gertrude, or Dirty Gurtie as she's known to her friends.
Gertrude was a good girl, driven sedately around the streets of Tokyo, with a tiny little bed in the back and a TV so the previous owner could watch Takeshi's castle (or cartoons involving tentacles, you know the ones dear reader, you naughty, naughty person!) while they at their sushi. Suddenly she found herself auctioned off to the highest bidder and bundled on to a boat to be shipped to her new owner 8500km away in the blistering heat of the middle east. Where she is currently being stripped bare and preparing for new enhancements.