So I went inside, frustrated, and had breakfast.
After breakfast I went outside, tried to start the van with the key with the throttle wide open. VROOOOOM it started, was a little shaky for the first few seconds but it ran. I shut it off, fired it up several times - no problem.
So I hit the command start button again. It wouldn't start. WTF?! Tried it starting with the key - wouldn't start. Tried it with hitting the pedal - won't start. Tried it 15 minutes later with the key - started right away. WTF is going on?

The command start worked fine before, everything else, too. I smelled gasoline in the garage when trying to fire it up and I could hear the fuel pump making it's high pitch noise.