Here's the back story:
So as I stated above, I changed my pads and calipers. I did the passenger side and everything went perfectly. I had to run an errand so I cleaned everything up and drove my van for a couple of hours with no issues. Then I came home later to do the driver side and that's when I started to have problems.
The old caliper came off and the new one bolted on without any issues, however, fluid kept leaking between the caliper and the brake line screw. After fighting with it for a LONG time, I resolved myself to the fact that the caliper was probably defective. I fully came to this conclusion when I bolted the old unit back on the van and there was no leak.
Then I discovered that the bleeder screw would NOT move!

Vice grips, a half-can of PB-Blast.. nothing would work. So I did what any non-sensible person would do and I drove my van to the parts store with limited braking capability.


So as I approached the intersection where the Autozone is, I made a mad dash for the left turning lane and then I started pumping the pedal only to push it all the way to the floor when I saw that I was about to hit the cars in front of me.
I couldn't stop in time so I shifted down to 2nd gear, hopped a 6-inch curb to avoid the stopped traffic, and I rode the median all the way down to the end of turn lane. Just before I hit the curb I heard a loud "bang" noise. I don't know if it was something in the back shifting around or if I damaged the transmission but once I stopped the van and collected my thoughts, the BRAKE light was on. I pulled into the Autozone parking lot, added more fluid, but the light remained on.
I exchanged the part, got back home.. in one piece...thankfully..
