'Twas the night before Christmas, dune buggy style

'Twas the night before Christmas, dune buggy style

Postby Big_kid [OP] » December 24th 2017, 7:11pm

This was originally posted on the first dune buggy website I used to frequent. The site is gone now, but every year this was posted on Christmas Eve. I didn't start the tradition, but I like to continue it. It might not have been written about an Asrto, but I think we can still relate:


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Off Topic: Annual Repost

Posted By: RickyD <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 24 December 2011, at 1:03 p.m.

Twas the eve before Christmas
and all through the shop
not a power tool was whirring
I heard only the clock.

The duners and gearheads passed out by the stove
with memories and dreams of trails they've rode
and Fido sprawled out and me on my creeper
I settled in for a four hour sleeper

when out in the driveway I heard a clutch chatter
I sprang from my creeper to see whats the matter
as I ran to the window I tripped on a tranny
slipped in some ninety weight and fell flat on my fanny

I got to the window and what did I see
a beat up old buggy with front wheels replaced by skis
I rubbed my eyes twice and saw a strange glow
there were eight big ol critters with that buggy in tow!

the driver was large and had lots of white hair
all of a sudden it hit me , I knew who was there
for weeks I have been waiting for a big brown van
and here he comes in a buggy, the UPS MAN!

suddenly he started screaming at the critters in front
and the buggy started moving then it glanced off a stump
faster and faster the buggy got going
the twenty inch paddles were now really rolling

the lead critter had Lazer Stars stuffed in his snout
and said follow me boys "I know the route"
all of a sudden in the wink of an eye
the buggy went vertical straight into the sky

as I stood there with a blank gaze up into the night
I couldn't help but wonder if if my medication had gone awry
I wandered back to my creeper to continue my slumber
assuming solvent fumes did me a number

I just fell to sleep and not one minute after
a huge loud crash rang down from the rafters
the next sound was clicks of a parking brake pawl
then a twenty one eighty dieseled and stalled

All of a sudden the roof door flops down
and down drops this old guy, all dressed in brown
he sets down a huge box on an old smoothie tire
it has a label on it from my favorite parts supplier

then he whips out this cipboard that looks kinda funny
punches some buttons and says "sign here sonny"
he crouched to the floor and shot up through the ceiling
"I'll see you next year, now I must be leaving"

the old man in brown shorts then rooster tails into the night
Screaming "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT"
95 Astro Conversion of unknown irrelevant lineage
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?
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Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas, dune buggy style

Postby chevymaher » December 24th 2017, 8:54pm

One from my chev site.

A Little Christmas Story

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys
as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit,
which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence
and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked,
the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered everywhere.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider
and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug,
and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all
the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door,
yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day?
I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the
little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas, dune buggy style

Postby Leeann_93 » December 24th 2017, 9:21pm

:rofl: :rofl:
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'02 Astro LS AWD vin X
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'99 Safari XLE AWD - broke
'93 AWD EXT vin W - real broke
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Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas, dune buggy style

Postby 1lowcab » December 24th 2017, 9:39pm

:lol:
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Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas, dune buggy style

Postby Big_kid [OP] » December 24th 2017, 10:59pm

:rolling:
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Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas, dune buggy style

Postby MI_Ghost » December 25th 2017, 2:31am

:rofl: :rolling: :rofl: :rolling:
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Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas, dune buggy style

Postby sixsix » December 25th 2017, 5:52pm

I think both of those are Perfect.

Here's one from last year you may recall...

Lumpy wrote:Ol' Saint Lump

Walkin' 'Round in Women's Underwear

Lacy things, my wife is missin'
Didn't ask her permission.
I'm wearing her clothes, her silk panty hose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the store there's a teddy,
With straps like spaghetti.
It holds me so tight, on a warm winter's night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

[BRIDGE]
In the office there's a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa, man!"
"Let's wait 'till the wives are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress like Madonna.
Put on some eyeshade, and join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

[SOLO]

[BRIDGE]
At the liquor store a clerk named Sandy
Always friendly, helps me pick out booze
Christmas Eve he recommended Brandy
A see through blouse and sensible pumps for shoes

Lacy things, the wife is missin'
Didn't ask - her permission.
I'm wearing her thong, I think I've got it on wrong
Walkin'... I'm havin' trouble walkin...
That's prob-ly 'cause I'm
Walkin' in women's underwear.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.



Still have to consider the weird source.

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

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