Spermus has got a rape van

Spermus has got a rape van

Postby astroturf [OP] » January 24th 2010, 9:48pm

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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby tedanderson » January 24th 2010, 9:57pm

Thanks.. now I will be singing that song all week!
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby astroturf [OP] » January 25th 2010, 12:01am

tedanderson wrote:Thanks.. now I will be singing that song all week!


It is a catchy little tune.
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby Mr_Bowtie » January 25th 2010, 12:03am

Why do all the bad things in this world always relate back to Vans? :whack:
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby astro355 » January 25th 2010, 12:35am

Yeah, really. Back in the day, I used a 78 Regal when I was raping...wait, nevermind.
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby tedanderson » January 25th 2010, 1:20am

Mr_Bowtie wrote:Why do all the bad things in this world always relate back to Vans?


I dunno.. Interestingly enough, when I was growing up, (in the late 70's thru the mid 80's) all of the bad men that the neighborhood kids were warned about drove vans. There was:

1. The ice cream man who had some of his products laced with LSD and PCP. He was a drug dealer who used his ice cream van as a cover to run his operation. Once day he got his inventory mixed up and a drug-laced bomb pop got into the hands of a child who went into a coma. For the next 3-5 years we didn't patronize any independent off-brand ice cream trucks.

2. The disgruntled ex-custodian. He didn't go "postal" but he had a master key for all of the junior high school lockers. One day he snuck into the school during the day and stole a bunch of coats while the students were in class. When he was discovered, he made a run for it and drove off in his getaway vehicle.. it was a van.

3. There was this group of 3 high school students who used to pretend to be kidnappers. They would drive around the neighborhoods harassing the younger kids like myself and we would run away. Eventually whenever they caught a kid or two, they would only keep them for a few minutes and then let them go. Thankfully these guys got caught and arrested.. in their van.

4. The neighborhood deer hunter. He would field dress and hang his deer on a tree in his front yard. He had an ugly mean-looking face so we thought he was evil. He was actually an OK guy as I found out later in life. Nevertheless, he drove a van. And my friends and I were scared whenever we didn't see that van. It usually meant that he was in the woods waiting to kill the next living thing that crossed his line of sight.

5. The crooks on the TV show CHiP's. They were fictional, yet real in our minds growing up. There was the group of thieves that went around town stealing parts from other vans, then there was the mad scientist that had gigantic clamp that could pick up other cars while in motion on the highway.. then there was the car stereo and CB radio thief.. There are just too many to name but more than half of all of the criminals on that show were van drivers.

6. The beltway snipers. Even though they were in the trunk of a Caprice Classic, remember what the media told us? WATCH OUT FOR THE WHITE VAN.

7. Speaking of white vans, anyone ever hear of the White Van Speaker Scam? One day I was parked in front of the mall waiting for a friend to come out when 2 guys in a white van pull up beside me with this great deal on a pair of speakers. They show me a catalog indicating that they normally cost $1400 but they are willing to sell me a set for $700. At the time I barely had 2 dollars to rub together so I passed on their offer.

I could go on.. but all that to say that your point is very valid.
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby astroturf [OP] » January 25th 2010, 1:55am

Ya ya, but don't worry. We will be remembered as a "Kinder & Gentler" vanning generation. Nod nod, Wink wink, know what I mean know what I mean!!!
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby Jasen » January 25th 2010, 2:10am

I remember those guys selling A/V eqip. out of van's. I never bought into their scam. Also remember the mobile auto body repair guy's, working out of vans.
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby webcat » January 25th 2010, 2:16am

tedanderson wrote:
6. The beltway snipers. Even though they were in the trunk of a Caprice Classic, remember what the media told us? WATCH OUT FOR THE WHITE VAN.


Also when Laci Peterson came up missing the media reported that a brown van driven by satanist nabbed her :roll:
And the movie smokie and the bandit , the kids in the van stealing the wheels off a car
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby Mr_Bowtie » January 25th 2010, 4:45am

What about Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine.........is there a back story behind that Van? :lol:
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby astroturf [OP] » January 25th 2010, 4:58am

Mr_Bowtie wrote:What about Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine.........is there a back story behind that Van? :lol:


They didn't call him Shaggy for nothing, and what do you think those Scooby Snacks were made of????
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby webcat » January 25th 2010, 5:02am

Mr_Bowtie wrote:What about Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine.........is there a back story behind that Van? :lol:

Yea , story goes that the whole show is about kids smoking pot , they were a bunch of stoners :lol:
Get the munchies , get yourself a scooby snack!
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby Mr_Bowtie » January 25th 2010, 5:10am

Good stuff guys........that Velma chick was a hooker/crack addict! Jinkies!!! :rofl:
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby tedanderson » January 25th 2010, 3:46pm

story goes that the whole show is about kids smoking pot , they were a bunch of stoners


Makes sense for the following reasons:

1. They were always paranoid.

2. They usually saw the ghosts and the phantoms that nobody else saw.

3. Shaggy talks to his dog.. and the dog talks back... and if you pay attention, you will notice that Shaggy is the only one who is able to carry on a conversation with the dog. Scooby uses body language with everyone else.

4. They were ALWAYS hungry! Pot gives you the munchies.. not that I know this first hand.. it-it's..ummm.. it's what I've been told..

5. The flower on the green van...BTW, they were probably on their way to Woodstock or on their way home because they were always in the van but it was never really clear as to where they were originally going or how they ended up on that dark narrow road.

6. The drugs gave Fred, Daphene, and Velma that false courage. I mean who in their right mind would say, "Oh look! There's a creepy looking haunted house! Let's go inside and see if we can get 'help'...(more drugs)"

7. The guy behind the mask (who is doing drugs also) always gets arrested by the police because he can't cover his tracks very well.. and then blames it on those meddling kids.

8. Referring back to item #7, I imagine that the masked man must be charged for possession or distribution or something along those lines because if you think about it, it's NOT illegal to haunt your own house and scare your guests. And we are led to believe that the guy got arrested for hanging a sheet on a suspended fishing line and playing a tape recording of ghost sounds.

9. Two guys and two women in a van with no windows. I doubt that they were going sightseeing.

10. You would really have to be on drugs to mess around with a woman that has the clunky glasses and unisex haircut.
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby astroturf [OP] » January 25th 2010, 3:59pm

tedanderson wrote:
story goes that the whole show is about kids smoking pot , they were a bunch of stoners


Makes sense for the following reasons:

1. They were always paranoid.

2. They usually saw the ghosts and the phantoms that nobody else saw.

3. Shaggy talks to his dog.. and the dog talks back... and if you pay attention, you will notice that Shaggy is the only one who is able to carry on a conversation with the dog. Scooby uses body language with everyone else.

4. They were ALWAYS hungry! Pot gives you the munchies.. not that I know this first hand.. it-it's..ummm.. it's what I've been told..

5. The flower on the green van...BTW, they were probably on their way to Woodstock or on their way home because they were always in the van but it was never really clear as to where they were originally going or how they ended up on that dark narrow road.

6. The drugs gave Fred, Daphene, and Velma that false courage. I mean who in their right mind would say, "Oh look! There's a creepy looking haunted house! Let's go inside and see if we can get 'help'...(more drugs)"

7. The guy behind the mask (who is doing drugs also) always gets arrested by the police because he can't cover his tracks very well.. and then blames it on those meddling kids.

8. Referring back to item #7, I imagine that the masked man must be charged for possession or distribution or something along those lines because if you think about it, it's NOT illegal to haunt your own house and scare your guests. And we are led to believe that the guy got arrested for hanging a sheet on a suspended fishing line and playing a tape recording of ghost sounds.

9. Two guys and two women in a van with no windows. I doubt that they were going sightseeing.

10. You would really have to be on drugs to mess around with a woman that has the clunky glasses and unisex haircut.


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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby Tiny » February 9th 2010, 3:28am

tedanderson wrote:
story goes that the whole show is about kids smoking pot , they were a bunch of stoners


Makes sense for the following reasons:

1. They were always paranoid.

2. They usually saw the ghosts and the phantoms that nobody else saw.

3. Shaggy talks to his dog.. and the dog talks back... and if you pay attention, you will notice that Shaggy is the only one who is able to carry on a conversation with the dog. Scooby uses body language with everyone else.

4. They were ALWAYS hungry! Pot gives you the munchies.. not that I know this first hand.. it-it's..ummm.. it's what I've been told..

5. The flower on the green van...BTW, they were probably on their way to Woodstock or on their way home because they were always in the van but it was never really clear as to where they were originally going or how they ended up on that dark narrow road.

6. The drugs gave Fred, Daphene, and Velma that false courage. I mean who in their right mind would say, "Oh look! There's a creepy looking haunted house! Let's go inside and see if we can get 'help'...(more drugs)"

7. The guy behind the mask (who is doing drugs also) always gets arrested by the police because he can't cover his tracks very well.. and then blames it on those meddling kids.

8. Referring back to item #7, I imagine that the masked man must be charged for possession or distribution or something along those lines because if you think about it, it's NOT illegal to haunt your own house and scare your guests. And we are led to believe that the guy got arrested for hanging a sheet on a suspended fishing line and playing a tape recording of ghost sounds.

9. Two guys and two women in a van with no windows. I doubt that they were going sightseeing.

10. You would really have to be on drugs to mess around with a woman that has the clunky glasses and unisex haircut.


I was reading this thread thinking "gee for a humor thread its not been very funny." Then I got to this post and it brought a smile to my face and a light chuckle. Thank you... Now I gotta go find the scoobie doo dvd box set.
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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby Jasen » February 9th 2010, 3:37am

Sounds good to me Ted.

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Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby jeff's93astro » February 9th 2010, 3:56am

its kinda off topic but now you can talk about scobby doo and an A/S at the same time its for sale right up the road from me
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http://chattanooga.craigslist.org/ctd/1584179822.html
95 Astro 5.3L RWD 3/3 drop
88 Silverado 5.3L 2wd 4/6 drop
03 Suburban 5.3L 2wd 3/5 drop
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jeff's93astro
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Firing on 2 Cylinders (L2)
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Years of Membership: jeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full years
Posts: 1224
Topics: 55
Images: 19
Joined: July 2009
Location: Georgia
Gender: Male
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Van Make/Model: Chevrolet Astro
Extra Info: CS 4.3L V6 RWD

Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby astro355 » February 9th 2010, 12:34pm

Oh wow. I so want that.
Diagnose 1st, never be a parts changer!

355 small block chevy w/ modified 700R4

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astro355
V8 Swap Achievement
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Firing on 4 Cylinders (L6)
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Years of Membership: astro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full yearsastro355 has been a member for 12 full years
Posts: 5484
Topics: 57
Joined: May 2008
Location: Cleveland, OH
Gender: Male
Alias (AKA):
Van Model Year: 1989
Van Make/Model: Chevrolet Astro
Extra Info: 355 V8 700R4

Re: Spermus has got a rape van

Postby jeff's93astro » February 9th 2010, 4:23pm

i did too until i seen what he wanted for it $25,000
95 Astro 5.3L RWD 3/3 drop
88 Silverado 5.3L 2wd 4/6 drop
03 Suburban 5.3L 2wd 3/5 drop
Image
User avatar
jeff's93astro
V8 Swap Achievement
V8 Swap Achievement
Firing on 2 Cylinders (L2)
Firing on 2 Cylinders (L2)
Years of Membership: jeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full yearsjeff's93astro has been a member for 11 full years
Posts: 1224
Topics: 55
Images: 19
Joined: July 2009
Location: Georgia
Gender: Male
Alias (AKA):
Van Make/Model: Chevrolet Astro
Extra Info: CS 4.3L V6 RWD

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